Porn hurts women, so say the partners of users


 I wrote ‘Porn Hurts’ after I saw Bettina Arndt’s Age article, ‘Porn is not a Dirty word‘. Here she provides data from her research on couples in long-term relationships. While her article, and the book on which it is based, provide a particularly insightful window into how many men feel about porn, she misses the mark entirely in terms of how this impacts women in relationship with users. This article offers an opinion suggesting, following the current research, that women are often distressed by their partner’s porn use, most especially where this use is secret and the couple are in a long-term relationship. I also question Arndt’s implicit reinforcement of male sex-right. 

Bueskens, P. (2012). ‘Porn hurts’, Arena Magazine, no. 117, May 2012, pp. 15-16.


A longer more radical version of this article was re-printed in On-Line Opinion on May 1st, 2012:


This article has been re-printed in a number of additional places including: on June 12, 2012:


The Anti Porn Men Project on July 22, 2012:



Petra Bueskens | Mother, scholar, psychotherapist | Psychodynamic Psychotherapy Melbourne Daylesford